Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
