How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
