It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
