Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
