we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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