like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
