3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
