He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
