So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
