He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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