Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Farmville is her only friend.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
All the doctor said was why
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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