I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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