talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
