WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
