captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize