We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
