I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
