his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
