Sry I called you an 8
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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