Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
