she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
