you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
