I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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