I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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