was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
