I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
