see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
