On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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