Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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