Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
