i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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