Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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