im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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