u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
