i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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