Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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