My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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