Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
