she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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