If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
