did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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