mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
