I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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