She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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