Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
