walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
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