Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
