Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
