You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
