you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
