I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
