i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
