I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
