peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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