How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize