You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
